Weighing the Instinct

I have these ideas about sex sometime last week. And I started to think about it. I think in a sex you get spiritually and physically satisfied at the same time, but the level of satisfaction varies from time to time. And the satisfaction of the sex, most of the time, or I would say sometimes determines or affects your next sex, could be in terms of when will be the next sex or the motive or expectation of the next sex. Put it into an assumption, guess someone is sexual-spiritually satisfied, very much satisfied, even more than the sexual-physical satisfaction, his next sex could happen quite sometime after; as this kind of ‘great quality’ sex doesn’t occur often; or he is missing the feelings, he doesn’t want a simply-one-night-stand thing to overtake the feelings. Because most likely he will feel bad, or could be emptiness, is not something that is worth to be remembered, purely physical, it can come anytime. I guess it is not to say sexual-physical satisfaction is not important; you have involved in the sex, the physical contact is absolute, but when you put 2 satisfactions on a scale, when you are so much satisfied spiritually, emotionally, you may find the ultimate physical satisfaction comes as a secondary issue; but it is paradoxical that as it acts as a medium whereby the intimacy, the caring, the loving were conveyed via the physical contact – even words that were out from the mouth. What your heart feels and takes is the sincerity that is also out from his heart. Leave the faking possibilities aside, because it simply defeats the purpose of this statement.

When I think to this stage, sexual-physical satisfaction is like a pure physical need that I call it pure sex, like crave of being touched, sucking a cock or something; but if it happens with someone you like, you are fond of, and by the way he kisses, something physical that triggers you, emotionally very much, and it may be satisfactory sexually as well as – spiritually. Can I call as a ‘great making-love’ experience? I don’t know. But when I learn about myself emotionally and physically, I wish that I would have less of that kind of craving of just wanted to get laid or something.

People say human is animal of emotions. I think I do agree that. Sometimes the animal instinct overruns the emotions I guess this is when I could not help not to think about a beastly, hot, physical-pure sex – and it seems I would sort of regret right after it, Sober, it tells me that simply because emotionally you are not fed.

I guess when you are single and still sort of active in sex, I meant myself, and I will face this dilemma sometimes. Weighing the instinct in me, weighing what I want of this part in my life, is always something difficult to decide.